A Guide To Show Don’t Tell In Writing

A piece of advice that many writers will hear in their careers is to show, don’t tell. But what does this so-called writing rule mean and how can we master it?

In this guide, we’re going to unpack showing instead of telling to help you elevate your writing so it’s appealing to readers, agents and publishers.

We’ll look at some examples of showing vs telling from some bestselling books, and offer some crucial pieces of advice on fixing your writing so that there’s more compelling action and description.

You can jump through the guide by using the menu below.

What Is Show Don’t Tell In Writing And What Does It Mean?

Let’s start with the basics. In the context of writing, telling a story means that you explain what happens rather than show it through vivid description and action. For example, you could summarize how a character feels rather than show it through their behavior. When it comes to descriptions, you could state, for example, what the moon looks like, or descirbe how its ethereal glow makes the character feel. The former is more boring to read than the latter.

As a general rule, stories that are shown tend to be more exciting and engaging to read. Stories that are merely told tend to be a little dull.

Let’s look at the science behind this.

The Science Behind Showing vs Telling

Showing and not telling in writing engages readers by tapping into their sensory and emotional experiences. Neuroscience research shows that descriptive, sensory-rich language activates multiple brain regions, including the sensory cortex and motor areas, making stories more immersive (Hauk, Johnsrude, & Pulvermüller, 2004). This technique also triggers mirror neurons, fostering empathy and emotional connection with characters (Iacoboni, 2009).

Studies reveal that sensory details enhance memory retention through dual-coding, where information is stored both verbally and visually (Sadoski, Goetz, & Fritz, 1993). And on top of this, vivid imagery sustains attention and engagement (Cupchik et al., 1998), and helps readers actively construct mental images, enriching the reading experience (Zwaan, Stanfield, & Yaxley, 2002).

So as you can see, including sensory details and vivid imagery in writing leverages cognitive and neurological mechanisms, making stories more engaging, memorable, and emotionally resonant. That’s powerful and can’t be ignored. Let’s dive deeper into the subject.

What’s The Difference Between Showing And Telling?

In his book, Stein On Writing, Sol Stein provides a very helpful guide on something writers so often hear about: show, don’t tell. The quote above neatly sums up the difference between the two approaches.

Do you remember asking someone, a family member perhaps, to tell you a story? It’s almost as if we’ve been conditioned to tell rather than show.

We’ve moved into a visual age with the likes of TV, film, and YouTube dominating our lives. People want to see a story, they want to experience it, to escape from their own world and go on adventures their own lives do not allow.

And this is why, as a writer in our contemporary age, showing a story instead of telling it is becoming more important than ever.

Stein, a master editor of some of the most widely-read books in the world, states that a failure to show the story is one of the chief reasons for rejecting manuscripts.

So, the difference between showing a story rather than telling it is that the former approach is more visually appealing, whereas the latter can be a little dull for the reader—they’re simply fed information.

Showing vs Telling Examples

So now we know what showing instead of telling is, let’s reinforce the theory with some examples:

Telling: She was scared.
Showing: Her hands trembled, and her breath came in quick, shallow gasps as she glanced around the dark alley.

Telling: He was angry.
Showing: His face turned crimson, and his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

Telling: It was a beautiful day.
Showing: The sun shone brightly in a clear blue sky, birds sang cheerfully, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of blooming flowers.

Telling: She felt sad.
Showing: Tears welled up in her eyes, and she stared out the window, the corners of her mouth drooping as she hugged her knees to her chest.

Telling: He was tired.
Showing: He rubbed his eyes and yawned, his shoulders slumping as he dragged his feet with each step.

Telling: The room was messy.
Showing: Clothes were strewn across the floor, empty soda cans cluttered the desk, and a pile of dirty dishes towered precariously in the sink.

Telling: She was excited.
Showing: Her eyes sparkled, and she bounced on her toes, clapping her hands together in glee.

Telling: He was nervous.
Showing: He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and glanced repeatedly at his watch, biting his lower lip.

Telling: The food was delicious.
Showing: The rich aroma of garlic and herbs wafted from the dish, and the first bite melted in her mouth, bursting with savory, mouth-watering flavors.

Telling: The car was old.
Showing: The car’s paint was faded and chipped, the seats were worn and torn, and the engine coughed and sputtered when he turned the key.

These examples demonstrate how “showing” instead of “telling” can create more vivid and engaging scenes for readers. As you can see, the technique draws readers deeper into the narrative by appealing to their five senses and emotions, making the story more immersive and impactful.

Examples Of Show Don’t Tell In Famous Books

So you may want to learn how to tackle any instances of telling in your story. Let’s take a look at how some of the great writers of our time have achieved this:

Catcher In The Rye by JD Salinger

Instead of telling the reader that the main character, Holden, is feeling depressed and lonely, the author shows us through his actions. For example, Holden spends a night wandering around New York City, trying to find someone to talk to and feeling increasingly disconnected from the people around him.

“I was sort of crying. I don’t know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, ‘Sleep tight, ya morons!’ I’ll bet I woke up every bastard on the whole floor. Then I got the hell out. Some stupid guy had thrown peanut shells all over the stairs, and I damn near broke my crazy neck.”

Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone by JK Rowling

It doesn’t matter if you’re writing fantasy or writing a crime novel, showing the action is important. Let’s look at an example from one of the most popular fantasy books written.

Instead of telling the reader that Harry is overwhelmed by the wizarding world, the author shows us through his reactions. For example, when Harry first enters Diagon Alley, he is awestruck by the sights and sounds around him, demonstrating his wonder and excitement. Here’s an extract:

“The shops became more cramped, the streets darker, and dirtier. The houses were leaning crookedly over the street, and at the tops of the windows, odd things were sticking out, as if the inhabitants had forgotten to take them indoors. And then, as they turned into a wide, cobbled street, full of shops with brightly colored fronts, Harry’s heart began to race.”

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Let’s look at another example of show don’t tell from one of my favorite books: To Kill A Mocking Bird. Instead of telling the reader that Scout is curious and adventurous, the author shows us through her actions. For example, Scout and her brother, Jem, sneak into their neighbor’s yard to try and catch a glimpse of the mysterious Boo Radley, demonstrating their curiosity and bravery. Here’s an excerpt:

“Jem threw open the gate and sped to the side of the house, slapped it with his palm and ran back past us, not waiting to see if his foray was successful. Dill and I followed on his heels. Safely on our porch, panting and out of breath, we looked back. Across the street, Miss Rachel was out on her front steps in the dewy coolness, waving genially at the world.”

Through this passage, we see Scout and Jem’s curiosity and bravery as they sneak around their neighborhood, trying to uncover the secrets of Boo Radley.

The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald

Instead of telling the reader that Gatsby is in love with Daisy, the author shows us through his actions. For example, Gatsby throws elaborate parties in the hope that Daisy will attend, demonstrating his desire to be close to her.

“Every Friday five crates of oranges and lemons arrived from a fruiterer in New York – every Monday these same oranges and lemons left his back door in a pyramid of pulpless halves.” (Chapter 3).

Through Gatsby’s actions of ordering crates of oranges and lemons for Daisy, the reader can see his desire to impress her and create the perfect atmosphere for their reunion.

The Hobbit By JRR Tolkien

JRR Tolkien was a master of showing action instead of telling, and he used this technique extensively in his works. Here are a few examples of showing action instead of telling from “The Hobbit”. Instead of telling us about Bilbo’s home, Tolkien shows us by describing its details:

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”

Through the description of the hobbit-hole, the reader can visualize Bilbo’s home as a comfortable and cozy place.

Here’s another brilliant example. Instead of telling us about the Battle of the Five Armies, Tolkien shows us through the characters’ actions and dialogue:

“They hacked and hewed at the spiders’ webs, and in the end they all managed to creep out one by one into the daylight. … Swords flashed in the sunlight.”

Through the characters’ actions of fighting and the description of the sunlight flashing off their swords, the reader can feel the intensity of the battle and the triumph of the characters.

Why Is It Bad To Tell Instead Of Show?

Why is it regarded as bad writing to tell a story, then?

Well, as we’ve eluded to above, it can be dull for a reader.

When an author chooses to tell a story rather than show it through vivid sensory details and descriptions, actions, and dialogue, they inadvertently strip away the very essence of literary immersion. The reader, instead of being an active participant in the story, is relegated to a passive observer. The impact of this shift is threefold and significantly hampers the reading experience.

Firstly, the emotional connection between the reader and the characters is weakened. In the absence of dynamic scenes that allow readers to witness characters’ experiences firsthand, they are left bereft of the opportunity to empathize and form a genuine bond.

It is through showing that readers can witness the subtleties of facial expressions, body language, and the intricate interplay of emotions. Without these visual cues, the characters become distant and unrelatable, undermining the reader’s investment in their journey.

Secondly, the absence of a tangible setting diminishes the richness and authenticity of the story world. Descriptive passages not only transport readers to far-off lands and exotic locales but also provide a sensory experience that engages their imagination.

By merely telling, the author neglects to paint vivid pictures, and the reader is deprived of the sights, sounds, smells, and textures that bring the narrative to life. The result is a flat, two-dimensional world that fails to ignite the reader’s senses or kindle their curiosity.

Lastly, telling a story often leads to a loss of narrative tension and suspense. Effective storytelling is an interplay of anticipation, revelation, and gradual unfolding. Through the artful depiction of events, conflicts, and their resolutions, the reader is held in a state of eager anticipation, yearning to discover what lies beyond the next page. However, when an author resorts to summarizing events or explaining them at a distance, the inherent drama and tension are sapped away. The reader is denied the thrill of being on the edge of their seat, turning pages with bated breath, as the story’s twists and turns unfold before their eyes.

Sol Stein highlights three main areas in which writers become ensnared by telling:

1. Backstory – telling the reader what’s happened before the story begins. Stein is of the view that such information should be shown either in a narrative summary or in a rather controversial flashback.
2. Telling what a character looks like. This is a tricky one. Instead of just saying, for example, a character is tall, look to show it. “He had to stoop under every doorway”, for instance.
3. Telling what a character sees, hears, smells, touches, tastes, and feels on an emotional level. We’ll go into more detail with this below.

When Is Telling A Story Fine?

Telling does have its place.

At times, shortcuts become necessary, particularly when you need to provide a quick and straightforward explanation without any elaborate descriptions or immersive experiences for your readers.

Authors often resort to “telling” at the outset of a story to convey the exposition or after a significant revelation where specific details require clear articulation. Maintaining a balance between showing and telling is crucial to ensure you do not have an excess of either in your writing.

How To Show And Not Tell: 5 Easy Tips

Let’s turn our attention to some practical writing techniques and tips to help you master the art of showing intead of telling.

1. Dialogue

Let’s start with an easy pointer—dialogue. A character should avoid telling another character something they already know. It’s intrusive and lazy. Here’s one of Stein’s examples:

“Henry, your son the doctor is at the door.”

This sentence is just … urgh. Forced to hell. Conveys no imagery whatsoever. See what you think of this version:

“Do you think Herny would look more like a doctor if he grew a beard?”

Now, this is better. We have an image of a beardless man and the detail of him being a doctor has been shown to us rather than just told.

2. Characterizing Through Showing Action

Another thing to try so as to avoid telling in your writing is to look to include characterization. The best writers reveal what their characters are about without actually telling you anything about them. Let’s look at one of Stein’s examples of a woman who loves her children dearly:

“Helen was a wonderful woman, always concerned about her children.”

Very ‘tell-y’. It’s a bland description, devoid of imagery. See what you think of this version:

“When Helen drove her children to school she insisted on parking up and with one in each hand, accompanied them to the door.”

Here we’re shown a clear image of how much Helen loves her children. This one sentence reveals how much she cares without any mention of it. We can picture her walking them right up to the door, kissing them goodbye.

But it leaves the reader scope to ask questions which in turn draws them deeper into the tale. Is Helen too loving? Will she ever let her children grow up? We’ve been given the tools to ascertain, to judge, what she’s about. If you can work characterisation into your descriptions you’re doing it right!

3. Don’t Worry About Sentence Length

You’ll no doubt notice that when showing instead of telling sentences tend to be longer, and that’s fine! Let’s have a gander at this example:

“Neil felt anxious.”

Dull as anything. How about this?

“Every sound Neil heard, even the slightest scuff, caused him to spin round in the direction from which he thought it had come.”

Saying someone is anxious is easy. Showing it is a skill. And in showing actions we reveal how characters feel. This helps with characterisation too, because we get a sense of what this character does and how this character reacts when they experience such emotions.

Stein provides another excellent example, which he takes from Pulitzer prize-winner, John Updike. Instead of merely saying his character, Polly, loves swimming, Updike, with eloquence, says:

“With clumsy jubilance, Polly hurtled her body from the rattling board and surfaced grinning through the kelp of her own hair.”

Here we see that Polly is grinning as she surfaced, and coupled with the clumsy jubilance we get the impression that Polly is loving what she’s doing. I love that metaphor at the end: ‘the kelp of her own hair.’

4. Be Specific

One key ingredient to helping you show instead of tell is specificity. If you’re precise in your descriptions it gives you the power to show what you’re seeking to describe rather than merely telling the reader about it.

Looking at John Updike’s piece about Polly above, the reference to the ‘kelp of her own hair’ is one of the great examples of show not tell.

Think About Your Own Reactions

A good way to overcome telling is to highlight an emotion a character is feeling and then think of what you yourself do when you feel the same way. We often do things without thinking about them.

Nervousness is a good example of this. When I feel nervous I tend to bite my nails or fidget. My palms can become quite clammy too. Instead of just saying a character is nervous, show these physical reactions!

Don’t worry about not using the word ‘nervous’. You’ve shown that emotion. Trust your reader to draw their own conclusions.

5. Use Metaphors, Similes And The 5 Senses

Using metaphors and similes is a great way to aid your showing efforts. A good simile or metaphor can say a lot with very little.

Our sight is one of, if not the main way we learn. I find particularly with the fantasy genre if you’re trying to describe something original it helps to make references to relatable things, though this can be quite tricky when you’re making up a whole new fucking world!

George Orwell encouraged the use of metaphors and similes and provided some helpful and snappy advice when it comes to thinking of them:

“Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.”

What Orwell is essentially saying is, don’t use clichés. Try to be original. One way you can do this is to use the 5 senses in your writing, especially when describing places and experiences. Other approaches to writing prose can help you achieve something unique too, but try to avoid doing so at the expense of clarity, which was Orwell’s prime aim with writing.

6. A Handy Infographic On When To Show And Not Tell

If you’d like more examples of show don’t tell, I thought you might find this infographic useful. Thanks to the folks at The Write Practice for developing this!

Use A Show, Don’t Tell Checklist

If you still need a hand mastering your showing instead of telling, Stein provides a helpful little checklist of questions you can ask yourself:

1. Are you allowing the reader to see what’s going on?
2. Does your author’s voice stray into the narrative at any point? If so, can you silence that voice with action? It’s through telling that the author’s voice intrudes.
3. Are you naming emotions instead of conveying them by actions?
4. Is any character telling another what they already know?

Always check to see if your descriptions are visual. Does your prose evoke imagery?

I hope this guide on the rule of show don’t tell in writing has proven useful. If you need any more writing tips and advice, please get in touch.